Dare To Hope
by Writer432
Summary: Nico has never felt like he fit in, he's been told since he was little to suppress the part of him that is attracted to boys. It's impure, they told him. Unnatural. But when a certain brown eyed boy teaches him that hope isn't lost, will he dare to defy everyone? Or sink into an even deeper depression?


**Disclaimer: I don't own the Percy Jackson series.**

**Nico's POV:**

I think I've known ever since I was six that something was... off about me. I never found girls attractive, at least not in the way other boys did. They would giggle about how they liked their laughs or think the ribbons tied in their hair were pretty. I never thought of girls like that, I would admire their brains or bravery, but never their looks. The part that used to confuse me was that the things the other little boys would say about the young girls is what I would think about them. Instead of hair ribbons being the focus of my attraction, I would grow all warm and fuzzy whenever they would smile with dimples or stray pieces of hair would stick out from their head.

And I didn't know why this was, so I told Bianca, knowing I could trust her. She freaked out, pulling me into the small closet in our shared bedroom and whispering about how I can't tell people I feel this way. It wasn't good that I thought of boys this way, it needed to stop. I had pleaded with her to tell me why? Why was is bad? Why do I feel this way?

_It's natural, Nico, it's the way you were born. _Was her only reply, accompanied by a sad shake of the head and a gentle touch of my cheek.

**~~~ (4 years later)~~~**

After that I tried, I tried so hard, to rid myself of those feelings. I pinched myself whenever I caught myself daydreaming about boys, scolded myself for finding them attractive, ignored every twinge of delight whenever a sly smile was sent my way. Basically, I repressed the urge to feel pleasure in anything boys did, and in doing that repressed all of my other emotions linked to that in some way.

I no longer confided in Bianca, I didn't want to trouble her with the petty problems of her baby brother. Mother noticed nothing about how I transformed into a withdrawn ten year old versus the bubbly six year old I once was, but maybe that's because I made sure it was gradual, as not to concern her. I taught myself to stop noticing boys in the way I did and learn to observe girls in the correct manner.

I did a pretty good job of it, too. Until _He _came along and screwed things up in the greatest way imaginable.

His name is William, and he had these light brown eyes that pierced your soul and shaggy brown hair that fell into his eyes constantly. In other words, he was gorgeous.

I don't usually use that word to describe boys, it seems too feminine, but it suited him. It seemed like the word was built around him, his equivalent in letter format.

I had to try my best to ignore the unnatural lightness that would fill me up whenever I saw William and those dark brown eyes of his. Something about the intense gaze caused me to be drawn to him. Those two orbs would fix on me and it was like he was seeing through me, seeing my deepest thoughts and darkest secrets. To be honest, it scared me, but intrigued me at the same time. So I was drawn to quiet William, small Will with the large feet and a book always tucked under his arm.

You see, William was the shortest member of our class, even though he had these huge feet. He was teased relentlessly about it, and before I'd never had the guts to stand up for him.

Until the time those boys took it a little too far.

They tripped him, sneering slightly as the leader of their small gang reared his foot back to kick him. I leaped into action, knocking into the boy and pinning him to the ground. He fought to get out from under me, bucking his limbs wildly. I focused all my weight into my elbows, driving them into his stomach to the point where he was wheezing.

I yelled at William to go, run home and don't look back. The petite boy scrambled to his feet, dashing away from the fight scene.

By the time he rounded the corner the cronies had lifted me off of their leader and were beating me up mercilessly. I moaned in pain, my body folded itself in half to protect itself. Once they had their fill they released me onto the concrete, sniggering as I just lay there, too weak to move.

I fell with a thud, curling up into a tight ball and shivering as the sun grew low in the sky. That's how Bianca found me, bloodied up and curled into a tight ball on the solid ground. She heaved me into a sitting position, shouting over her shoulder. Our mother appeared, startled by the rough shape I was in. She gathered me in her arms, fretting I've my swollen eye. Bianca kept circling us, flashing me encouraging smiles and giving a stony glare to the shadows.

A deep black shadow separated itself from the others, stepping closer to be seen in the dim light of the moon. It was William, trembling from cold or fear, I couldn't tell.

He collapsed at my side, his pants getting smeared with what I later learned was my blood. He begged me for forgiveness for being a coward, for running away when he should have helped me.

I told him he had nothing to worry about. He did the right thing, but he was having none of it. _Let me repay you. Please. _He pleaded, placing his frozen fingers on mine. My mother snatched my hand away, sternly telling William he can't touch boys like that, not in public and not at home. It was impure to want boys instead of girls, he should be ashamed of himself.

It's times like these I'm glad I came to Bianca instead of my mother.

William stuttered, his cheeks growing rosy in the pale moonlight. He asured her of his attraction to females, something that caused my stomach to sink- even in my beaten down state.

Mother brought me home, barking at William that it would be better if he leaves. So he left, only sparing one backward glance.

At school nothing changed, I was still alone and William was still picked on. Only I never came to the rescue anymore.

But even though we never spoke in daylight, William had given me something so rare and fleeting I treasured it beyond anything else. He gave me hope. Hope that there are others like me out there, hope that one day people could love freely without being ashamed of who it is they place their heart with. And for that, I will forever be grateful.

**~~~~(Seventy years later)~~~~**

They must be lying, it's been a month, not _seventy years. _We were in the casino for a month, how on earth could that transform into seventy years?

The boy with swirling green eyes was in hysterics, apparently he was close with the girl who just fell off the cliff. He paced, running his long fingers through his dark hair, the color of shadows during the night. This motion caused pieces to stick out, something that I had always found inexplicably endearing.

The goat-man hybrid who claimed he was a Sayter was trying to sooth his nerves, casually touching his arm or back. He even dressed his arm wound, something I thought only woman could do.

These casual touches sparked an unfamiliar emotion with me, but nonetheless one that I would recognize in a heartbeat.

It was hope.

Maybe it isn't so bad that it's seventy years in the future. Maybe the future is better, with more equality. Race and gender no longer have an effect on the way people treat you. Maybe you're free to love whomever you choose.

_Maybe I can stop admiring boys from afar._

_Maybe I have a chance with Percy, the one with the swirling green eyes._

With these encouraging thoughts taking hold of my mind I began to be on more animated, expressing my emotions which consisted mainly of excitement.

Bianca kept shooting me worried looks, warning me with her eyes to not get my hopes up.

But I brushed her off, still focusing on the buzz coursing through my veins from the newfound hope.

After all, things were better now, right?

**~~~~(Four years later)~~~~**

I couldn't have been more wrong.

The fake cheery feel here in America, with all their _equality _and _freedom, _it just makes me sick. What kind of place gives you the right to express yourself, only to prohibit a certain kind of love? It's just a country full of hypocrisy hidden behind a thin veil of claims meant to lure you into their trap.

But... not everyone is horrified by me. Jason actually thought it was brave of me to admit the truth, knowing that I won't be accepted by everyone.

So maybe the future is better in some ways, but there's still room for improvement.

It'll still sting to think of my mother, who never knew her son was what she would classify as an abomination. It'll sting that Bianca never got to see me finally admit the truth, to myself and others.

And it'll sting whenever I see Percy, adoration shinning in his eyes as he watches Annabeth. But I'll get over it, I'll move on and maybe even dare to dream that someday someone will look at me like that.

But for now, we have a war to win.

**Before you all get super hyped up about how Nico didn't have his memory and in the books it said he had a crush on Percy, I would like to plead my case.**

**I know some of its wrong, but it added to the story so I left it that way. And I know this writing style is really confusing, without the dialogue and all the time skips, so sorry about that.**

**And I have no clue how people reacted to gay people in Italy during the 1930's so this could be accurate or a complete fail.**

**Lastly, even though I'm Christian I don't believe gay marriage is an abomination. God made people that way for a reason, and I won't shun them for who they are. If you disagree with me, I respect your opinion, but I've made my mind up. **

**So what do you think about my first time writing Nico? Please leave your opinion in a review! **


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